It's time you know: I enjoy The A-Team. Furthermore, I feel the credits from this old-ish TV show are awesome. I wish I could make gun sound effects to insert here to further solidify that fact. Heck, I wish I could make gun sound effects period. My brothers rock at those. I was always jealous of them when we were kids for that reason. But it is what it is. And there you have it...confessions with Beck.
OK, so as much as I totally adore The A-Team, and how much I love love love it when a plan comes together, that's not exactly what I'm planning on writing about. Just so you're not disappointed...
I'm talking about my team. I've mentioned them before. The group of people that God directed me to assemble to walk alongside me in this journey of healing, restoration and lots of "new." Not just the friends that I have, which I am also thankful for, but the people that have intentionally entered a different kind of relationship with me. The ones that really know me...the good, the bad, the ugly...and have helped me to never ever ever be content with "good enough" or "that'll do." Each of them made a conscious decision to be on the team when I asked them. Each of them have filled unique positions on this team. God's called some of them in just in time for the big plays. Others have been there since the first proverbial practice. You've got your upfront members and your behind the scenes ones. At times they've passed the ball to one another, called in subs and have forced me to take a time out. But all of them have blown me away with their willingness to listen to God before they ever listen to or speak to me, even if that means saying things that have been hard for me to hear. And believe you me...that has certainly happened.
When things started getting crazy at the onset of my reality change a year and a half ago, I had people that came around me to try and just keep me afloat. And I needed those people. But it was as things settled in and the trickle effect of everything continued to gain momentum that my A-Team really came into play. I leaned on my kitchen counter one afternoon, crying, yelling at God because I was just so ticked off and hurt and scared...and, well, it was clear that I could not do this alone. That night was a very significant continuation of me realizing that I HAD to have a team. Not just a supportive group of friends, but an intentional and purpose-driven team. A group of people to hold me up when I was unable to stand on my own. People that would pray on my behalf when I was speechless or angry or a combination of the two. People that would create a dynamic that was conducive to my healing...surgery healing, not just band-aid healing...and to my restoration. They did just that as they have walked with me on several levels.
Accountability: Not always a fun word, but so important. And not just during times of crisis, but all the time. Accountability is uncomfortable. It's intentional. I've found it must be requested...it rarely ever just happens. That's part of the impact of accountability. It exists out of a desire to be better and to find people that God can use to help that process. My team has kept me accountable in every possible area...finances, attitude, spiritual disciplines, relationships, eating, sleeping...you name it and someone is asking me about it. I don't always like it. But I need it. We all do. And I'm blessed that so many people were willing to put themselves out there and be there for me in that way.
Adjustment: There's been lots of it. And they have been with me through every step of it, sometimes gently supporting me as I work through it on my own, sometimes holding my feet to the fire when I've had a hard time letting go of the painful old and walking into the beautiful new. There have been growing pains. But nothing worth doing is going to be easy, and my team has helped me adjust more fully to that mindset.
Affirmation: They have encouraged. Given me the "atta girls." Reminded me of who I am in Christ. Believed in me. They've spoken truth into my life. They've lifted my spirits and reminded me of how far I've come and the good things that God has in store for me. And they've done the same for my kids.
Attitude: They've helped me keep mine in check. They've assisted in dismantling the ugly parts of it and creating a new one. And I say assisted because my attitude is always my choice. It's one of the very few things I truly can control. No matter what is thrown at me, I must choose what I'm going to do with it. But having someone call you out when your attitude stinks always helps that process.
Amen and Amen: They pray for me and with me and make sure I'm doing the same (Amen #1). And then when they see God answer a pray or perform a miracle or do a mighty work, they agree with me in recognizing that HE did it and that HE is faithful (Amen #2).
I could say more, but I think you get the idea. I haven't always listened to God the way I should, but I am so grateful that I did in this instance...in the putting together of the A-Team. I'm grateful that they said yes and have followed through. I'm grateful for the part they have played in how far I've come and the healing I've experienced, realizing that all the plays they've been involved with has led us to a victory. I know that this team is a huge part of why I've been able to transition from my very important and appropriate "all about me" healing and restoration time back into a place of serving and singing and giving. Not that the journey is over. Not that the team isn't still assembled. I will never again live without this kind of a team. In fact, I believe that's how God would like it to be for each of us...not just rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn, but spurring one another along in love, remembering that the love needed most just may be the tough kind of love that doesn't feel all warm and gushy. But it's good. And necessary. And something I will never stop craving. Regardless of what you are going through, but especially if you are facing something pretty earth-shattering, can I humbly suggest that if you don't have a team that you start praying about assembling one? It will look different for each of us based on who we are and what life looks like, but it has the potential to absolutely rock your world. Which is what my team did for me, through the grace and strength and wisdom and timing of God.
And for that I am truly grateful.
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