Some Requests

My son is quietly playing Legos in the living room.  He requested to bring them all down here so he could "be" with the rest of us.

My eldest daughter is listening to her Christmas practice CD, singing along happily.  She requested a highlighter so that she can make sure she does her personal best in her home practice time.

My two younger daughters are playing school in the front room, armed with spiral notebooks and pencils.  They requested that Miss Branch (that would be me) "meet" with them so I can hear a progress report regarding my children's math facts. 

How could I ever request anything more simple, yet more fulfilling?

This time, these memories, this indication of a redirection and re-focus in my own mother's heart and Christ follower's perception...it's beautiful.

It's not without it's own set of challenges...I mean, it is me we're talking about.  The one guilty of hiding behind busyness and always saying yes and even "ministry" things in order to avoid my own pain.  My own sin.  My own selfishness.  My own pride.  But that has changed.

My to-do list, for now anyway, is not full of things centered around other people or maintaining certain images that simply must be upheld.  It's centered around my new reality.  My new vision and purpose.  My kids.  My own growth and health and peace.  It's an adjustment, yes.  I did not request it, per say.  But you will not find me requesting an exchange or an upgrade.

Christ served.  The end.  It wasn't glamorous nor was it prestigious.  And if I want to be like Him, I should be requesting more opportunities to serve selflessly.  Silently.  Under the radar.  Should I not? 

I've got some of that going on...and there are things on my to-do list which are related to the opportunities God has given me to provide for my family and to impact His Kingdom.  It's not like it's all dentist appointments, school field trips, counseling appointments and intense one-on-one time with various human beings...though some days it does feel like it, believe you me.  But this season that I'm in...with all of it's growing pains and adjustments and relearning...it flippin' rocks. 

There is waiting and unknown, as I cling to the all that the Promiser says and I listen to all the words that the prophets in my life pass along to me.  But there is a joyful anticipation.  I sense that another season is approaching.  One that will involve more growing pains and adjustments and relearning.  Some may feel this rebuilding season of the past year has gone too fast.  And there were times that I felt it was going too slow.  But at the end of the day, or the season, it is Christ that determines the timeline.  And I know that I know that I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be, just waiting for Him to unfold the "next." 

In the meantime, the only request that I have is that God would teach me what I need to be learning right now.  Preparing me.  Refining me.  And I'm pretty sure that God's request of me is along those same lines.  I do believe that He enjoys His part in the "beauty from ashes" process.

I'm sure that momentarily I will have to referee my children, the bacon may start to burn and somebody will have a crisis.  The prospect of my third child needing glasses may sink in.  Some behavioral and medicinal challenges with my son may overwhelm me.  The rain may get to me.  But right now...this moment...I have no requests. 

I am content.  Not perfect.  Not always level headed or without heartache.  But content.

I am content in the work that God is doing in my children and I.  Not apathetic.  Not done learning and growing, not by a long shot, my dear friends.  But content.

But I also, at the moment anyway, have no more requests.  Just a list a mile long of things that I can be thankful for...and an even longer list of all the things I know I am going to be thankful for in the future.  Because I don't have to request plans to prosper me, use me, heal me and shine through me.  God's already promised those things.  So now, I can just wait for it with a belief that He is already well on His way to making that future bigger and better than I could ever think of to request anyway.

My request for you?  Believe the same in your own life.  Trust the process.  Start the journey.  Believe that God knows best.  And when I forget all those things on the hard days...please, remind me.