I Normally Don't do This

If you're on Facebook, chances are you've seen this quote or variations of it floating around on a good number of status updates.  I read it a few weeks ago (before status updates were overtaken with venting about the new format) and it struck me.  But because the stubborn side of me refuses to do anything considered a "trend" I didn't repost it.  I didn't blog about it.  But I can't stop thinking about it, either. 

I've been talking with one of my best friends about the roles of men and women within our culture...within our families...within the body of Christ.  We've looked at Scripture, we've looked at real life examples.  What God intended.  What can and does happen as a result of sin.  From Adam and Eve on down the line.  It's been a good dialogue.  It's been one that continues to challenge me as a mom trying to raise my children with healthy and Godly perspectives and truths, while clinging to the fact that God can take situations that weren't His ideal and still make something stunningly beautiful out of them.  Because if you haven't caught on by now, that's where I'm at in my life.  Things didn't turn out the way I had dreamed as a little girl...pretty sure nobody daydreams about their "fairy tale ending" involving being a single mom of four in their 30's.  Or at any age for that matter.  But, for reasons that are numerous and not known by the vast majority of the population of this small town I call home, this is where I am.  God is more real to me now than ever.  And though the journey has been the hardest thing I've ever experienced, I am better because of it.  I am closer to my Jesus...and that is one seriously intense sliver lining.

So this trendy quote...here's one version.

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between a man who flatters her and a man who compliments her, a man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her, a man who views her as property and a man who views her properly, a man who lusts after her and a man who loves her, a man who believes he is God's gift to women and a man who remembers that a woman was God's gift to man.


The way I see it, to teach our precious girls anything else is to teach them that they aren't worth as much as God says they are worth, thus leading them to believe something other than truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

To teach them that anything else is to teach them to run towards the counterfeits satan uses to try and lure us away from the Almighty.  And frankly, those counterfeits are often far more damaging than the "obviously bad" apples.

To teach them anything else is to NOT teach them to act as though they are deserving of the very best.  To open the door to compromise all the wider.

As for the boys...well, we need to teach them a whole heckuva lot of things, too.  To love God first and foremost and without abandon.  To view themselves as leaders with great responsibility, importance, promise, expectations and value.  To treat our girls in a way that shows them how valuable they are in God's eyes.  And to treat themselves in a way that indicates that same value.

Bottom line is this:  We are made in God's image.  Men.  Women.  With uniquely designed personalities, roles, passions, gifts, strengths, and yes, weaknesses.  But we matter.  God said so.  I believe it.

The above quote is a good one.  But I think it boils down to a pretty simple truth:  if we love God before we love ourselves, others, or anything else...our attitudes and actions and words will fall into line. 

Yes, we need to teach our girls those things.  But let's also teach them to guard their hearts...

Prov. 4:23 “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (NLT)

...for their is a great reward in sight when they do. 

Matthew 5:8  "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.”  (NLT)

I want my girls to understand their value, their worth...and for them to understand it so deeply and personally that they make consistently good choices when temptation surfaces.  I want my boy to understand that his Heavenly Father sets the bar pretty high in what it means to be a real man, but that God and other Godly men are here to help him see that, learn that, want that, be that. 

But more than anything, I want all of my kids to see God.  In creation.  In Scipture.  In their circumstances.  In me (yikes!).  In themselves.  In others. 

I want them to see that they are royalty...worthy of the very best, with a very high calling.  Made in God's image.  Worth the very life of His Son.

I want them to see that actions and words are a result of heart and attitude and how right they are with God.

That they absolutely need to be on guard against falling for or being a counterfeit.

That us grown-ups aren't always the best example of being or seeking the type of person that the quote describes.

But most of all, I want them to see God.  And to live in such a way that makes this obvious.

So while I normally don't do this...I just did.  Trendy FB quote with a little bit of "Beck" thrown in for good measure, for what it's worth. 

It's not enough to believe it.  To preach it.  To quote it.  To use words to convince people that you are it.  I've tried all those things.  They don't work.  And the pride that comes with thinking that you've got a "good enough" handle on things will destroy.  You have to internalize it.  Surrender it.  Live it.  In word and deed.  In private and in public.  If you do, you'll see God.  It's a promise in Scripture and I could give you plenty of examples from my own life, too.

If you don't take a thorough approach to this heart guarding thing, well, God sees that.  And He will pursue you until you either tell Him to get lost (which hopefully you won't do) or you let Him do His thing.  Restore you.  Give you back the years that that locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25-26).  Give you back a double portion of honor and provision and joy.  (Isaiah 61:7-8).  Those are promises, too. 

Promises which I humbly cling to, thanking God every step of the way.

Colossians 3:17 "Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way." (MSG)