The Brave Face, the Tissues and Russian Roulette

Last night was one of "those" nights.  You know what I'm talking about...the stars and planets and tires for that matter were all aligned perfectly, creating the biggest cry baby this side of the Mississippi (and yes, I said those letters out loud while I typed them...giggling slightly at the last 4, because I'm just immature that way).  I was a mess.

Oh, don't get me wrong...nothing terribly catastrophic happened.  I had a wonderful evening with my kiddos, ending with Brooklyn claiming the title of wrestling champion in the final round against this old mama of hers (Fair and square might I add.  Don't cross her...she will crush you).  The walls shook with laughter.  The floors shook, too, but I doubt they were laughing much.  Bedtime was smooth.  Conversations were authentic.  It was a good night.

And then the stars and planets and tires all ganged up on me.

I held it together while I exercised.  I put on my brave face for my friends on "The Sing Off," because they clearly can tell the emotional state of their audience (I'll spare you the trouble...I'm rolling my eyes at myself).  And then the last song was completed and the stars and planets and tires gave me one last shove and I was a puddle.

Sheesh.

I did all the things I normally do when faced with this scenario...reviewed who I am in Christ, who Christ is, all the ways He's been faithful, my determination to not allow satan to mess with me, the promises God has burned into my brain.  I did it all.  And I hate to say it, but I ended up doing the Russian Roulette thing with my Bible.  You know what I'm talking about...randomly opening your Bible to see what God wants to say to you.  The thing I used to do when I was in Jr. High school when feeling like I needed something really profound and exciting and inexplicable (Oooo...so maybe instead of being pathetic I was exhibiting the "faith of a child?"  Yep, let's go with that).  Except I kinda think that I might be have been cheating just a little because I know my Bible will open up to Psalms, since the Psalms have been open permanently for the past year, AND since I was, after all, the Sword Drill champ in Sunday School.  I can find Psalms with my eyes closed.  So, it's highly likely that I was limiting God to speaking to me in that particular book, but, well, it is what it is.

I read Psalm 145.  Which was actually a very good fit for where I was at last night (go on...click here.  You know you want to read it).  It's one of my favorites.  God and I exchanged some words.  I went to sleep...exhausted.  (Note to self: exercising when emotionally distraught may cause you to actually spend too MUCH time on the elliptical.  At least I have some ibuprofen in the cupboard...)

So this morning, after taking my ibuprofen and downing some coffee and throwing away the tissues from last night, I read Isaiah 30:18:

So the Lord must wait for you to come to him
so he can show you his love and compassion.
For the Lord is a faithful God.
Blessed are those who wait for his help. (NLT)

That's good stuff...too good to stop with just one version.  Luckily BibleGateway.com and I are close friends.  Let's try another:

But God's not finished. He's waiting around to be gracious to you.
He's gathering strength to show mercy to you.
God takes the time to do everything right—everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones. (MSG)

Nice.

Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the LORD is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him!  (NIV)

And because I'm all hopped up on caffeine, let's go with one more...

And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!  (AMP)

And there you have it.  Or I have it.  Or we have it.

God longs to be gracious and kind and loving to us.

He is a just God.  He does things the right way.

And if you are waiting for something, whether you know what that something is or not, you will be blessed.  Lucky.  Envied.  Fortunate.

Sometimes I look around and think "What the heck is going on here, Lord?  Seriously?!"  If my kids aren't in the same room, I might even say it.  Loudly.  Sometimes there is a specific reason.  Sometimes it's completely out of the blue.  Sometimes it's in my own life.  Sometimes it's as I watch and pray and wait for something to shake loose in somebody else's life.

Waiting stinks.  BUT...

Who do you believe?  Do you believe our fast food/fix it quick/drive thru everything under the sun culture that says you deserve an answer and you deserve it now? 

Or do you believe the Creator of the Universe?  Who says He is longing to pour out love and compassion and mercy?  But He will ALWAYS wait until it can be done properly.  He will ALWAYS act justly, defeating and punishing and flat out destroying  the enemy and rewarding the faithful (see Psalm 145 for more on that one).  And you will be blessed.

Perhaps I shouldn't have cheated when I played Russian Roulette with my Bible.  Perhaps He would have chosen this verse for me last night.  Or perhaps I'll stop over-analyzing and just accept these promises, knowing that even as I've already shared this verse with a few folks today...it was timely in their lives, just as it was timely in my life coming from one of my friends.

It's rainy here.  Pretty gloomy.  But the rain is a good thing in the grand scheme of things.  And it won't always be this way.

And so it is with the waiting, too...