Get Ready...Here Comes a Confession

I, Becky Branch, am afraid of rubber bands. There. I said it. You think I'm kidding? I can assure you I am not.

Mock me. Judge me. Refer me to a support group. Send me a donation to cover the fee of a well-known and highly successful therapist (actually, I would be OK with that...but that's a different post). But I really, really am afraid of rubber bands.

Now, if I'm in the office store and walk past the rubber band section, I'm fine. If I'm walking down the hall at a school and see one laying on the floor, I'm cool. A pile of rubber bands housed in a cute little container in a drawer or on a counter? Not a problem. But as soon as you stretch that puppy and point it in my general direction...or even pretend to...it's all over. I involuntarily make that scrunchy face and put my hands over my eyes and get all hunched over. It's not all that attractive of a pose, trust me. And, for some reason, people find it hilarious...and absolutely love to torment me. I'm not sure why.

There are other things that I'm not real excited about...spiders the size of Arkansas, having a large piece of cilantro stuck in my teeth while being introduced to someone for the first time, a bird pooping on me while leading worship at an outdoor venue, etc. They don't necessarily make my face get scrunchy, but my palms may indeed sweat a little.

But lately, I've been processing other types of fears. There's the fear of failure. Fear that I'm missing out on THE amazing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make an eternal impact. Fear of being hurt. Fear that my parenting just isn't cutting it...and my kids aren't going to turn out very well. Fear that I will look back at my life and have too many regrets. Fear of the implications of the regrets I already have. Fear of broken relationships. Fear of the unknown.

When I take a look at those fears, some of them stem from what could be a described as a healthy concern. I'm sure that it isn't wrong or "bad" to take the time to think about how to be a good parent, or how to handle hurt. But when the fear side of things takes over...the scrunchy face and covered eyes...it's just not good.

I like the way the NASB translates Isaiah 41:10. "Do not fear, for I am with; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

I like this translation for a few reasons. First, the phrase "do not anxiously look about you" seems to settle just right in my brain. Secondly, I love that it uses the word "surely" not once, but twice. It's like God is saying "Duh! Seriously...of course I'll help you out!" That's a pretty loose paraphrase, I'm sure, but you get the point.

Then there's verse 13 in that same chapter. I'll stick to the NIV for this one: "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of Your right hand and says to You do not fear; I will help you."

I love the simplicity of this verse.

I am God. I am holding your hand. Don't be afraid. I've got your back, Beck.

It doesn't say: "You big, pathetic mess. You're fearful of what? If you really think that I'm God, you wouldn't even be tempted to worry about something as insignificant as that, especially when you take time to consider all the other stuff that's going on in this world of mine. Get over it. It will be OK. Just forget about it."

Rather than taking an opportunity to belittle us, since He is this huge Almighty God and all, He promises He will help us.

Rather than telling us to just get over it, he tells us where He will be as we walk through it.

Rather than telling us He will make our fears magically disappear - that He will make sure the proverbial rubber bands of our life make a quiet and orderly exit - He tells us He will hold our hand.

Now, what could be more gently reassuring than that?

Unfortunately, I will continue to have fears. I will continue to hold on to them too tightly at times. I will continue to attempt to balance the "valid concern" and "scrunchy face" sides of the matter. Sometimes successfully, other times not so much. I may even try to cover up my fears instead of recognizing them...which isn't exactly healthy either. But in the meantime, it sure is good to know that God will continue to strengthen me and help me. He will hold my hand and hold me up.

And He'll do the same for you, too.