Hard to believe, but my youngest has been three for 2 days now. I was hoping that her birthday would somehow magically snap her out of this terrible twos attitude she has developed as of late, but for some reason that hasn't happened yet. Though there are parts of her personality developing that make me pray really really hard, she is such a cool kid. A true gift.
We had four kids ages four and under once she was born. So, much of that time is a blur. But there are certain things that I remember very well. I remember watching Food Network non-stop in the hospital. Thanksgiving was at my house that year, and I was still considering things I wanted to make once I got out of the hospital. The nurses laughed at me. But, that's just the way I'm wired. I remember being shocked when they told me how much she weighed. All of my other kids were enormous. Seriously. Gigantic. So when I found out that Brooklyn was a tad under 8 lbs, I couldn't believe it. She looked so small! I remember the joy of holding her for the first time...the peace and quiet in my hospital room...the kids coming to visit and being in awe of her...the celebration Surf and Turf meal the hospital provided (which is why Myron was OK with having as many kids as we did...he loved that meal)...and I remember immediately thinking that I wanted to have more kids. Of course, now that we are completely nap free and a 100% potty trained household, that thought is long gone.
In many ways, I will never know what it's like to grow up in Brooklyn's shoes. She is the youngest of four kids, having two sisters and one brother. I am a middle child with two brothers and no sisters. Her Daddy's in law enforcement. I grew up a pastor's kid. She has a lot of cousins. They are close in age to her, and pretty close geographically. I only have 5 cousins altogether, haven't always lived all that close to them and there's a wider age range. She has figured out how to use a computer already and words such as i-pod, DVD player, voice mail, e-mail and cell phone are commonly used without a second thought. Needless to say, that was not the case for me growing up!! And then there's our society. It's quite an understatement to say that she is growing up under a much different set of cultural circumstances than I.
So how is it that I will be able to be a relevant mother? One that gives her security, consistency, understanding and unconditional love? How will I balance being a friend and being the disciplinarian? How will I ever get my act together enough to be a good example for her? Well, I know one thing. Not in my own strength. Not by relying solely on parenting books, well meaning advice or my own experiences. Not without admitting that I can't do it on my own...and opening the door for Christ to provide what I need, and what Brooklyn needs.
Ruth Bell Graham makes this statement in Prodigals and Those Who Love Them:
How many mistakes I have made with the children because I was fretting - concerned to the point of worry. And invariably it prompted me to unwise action: sharpness, unfair punishment, unwise discipline...even my attitude and tone of voice. But a mother who walks with God know he only asks her to take care of the possible and to trust him with the impossible; she does not need to fret.
Happy Birthday, Brooklyn. I love you dearly. And as we all take one day at a time, I hope that you feel that love with every ounce of your little body and soul. You are teaching me more than you will ever realize...just don't rub that in my face when you reach your teen years.
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